The Deep Wish Mirror
by PsychicDreams
Summary: When a mirror in Yuuko's storeroom ropes Watanuki into a world he can't help but watch, the witch admits the danger of it: unless Watanuki can find a way to make his wish come true, he'll waste away in front of the mirror. Can he find the strength to even
1. Chapter 1

Watanuki grumbled under his breath as he entered the storeroom in the back of the shop. He had cleaned it less than three days ago, and what did he find, that it was covered in dust and completely in disarray once again. He knew, just knew, Yuuko did this to him on purpose.

He walked through, rearranging and dusting as he went. Putting things neatly on the shelves he could have sworn he had properly cleaned and arranged just the other day, every once in a while coming across something he didn't recall seeing before. None of it really caught his attention, though, most of if was what he considered junk. Odd little crystals, children's toys, very out of style clothing from decades ago. Why Yuuko called it treasure was well beyond him, but he had learned not to question his employer on things like this, her answers made even less sense.

As he continued on, he stepped on something covered in a layer of dust, he pulled back his foot as if burned, praying to any deity that would listen that he hadn't broken it. Almost reverently he picked up the object in question; it was a small, silver worked, handheld mirror. A mirror that was, blessedly, free of any damage.

Tucking his feather duster into one of the pockets of his apron, he pulled out a rag from another, wiping away the dust that had obscured the fine silver work. The glass was of high quality, and free of dust, shown like a calm lake in moonlight. It was absolutely mesmerizing. This, of all the junk he had seen, was a treasure.

When he held it up to the little light coming in through the doorway, the glass seemed to waver. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, wondering if he had hallucinated it. But no, it was still rippling, like water. Shocked, he almost dropped it onto the ground, but his fingers felt glued to the silver framing.

And then images began to show. It looked like his school, but it was somehow…dirtier. Sort of like a rough and tumble look, as if it had seen itself through a small war and survived mostly intact. The glass rippled again and zoomed in onto the back of a boy that strode along with purpose and pride. His black hair fell down to his waist and was tied in a braid, letting it flap with every confident step. And while his clothes were clean and pressed, it appeared as if they weren't quite as neatly worn as the school regulations required. Fingers were slim as he lifted them to run over his pouty lips that just begged to be smothered by kisses. The students around him tended to back away or give him a respectful distance, as if they either admired or feared him. He cut a lean figure and it wasn't until he glanced to the side that Watanuki could get a look at his face and a gasp filled the treasure room.

That was _him!_

What was this mirror? He was tempted to turn away to ask Yuuko, when the mirror-Watanuki had reached his destination. Another back, this time, but this one was far more muscled. His arms were as muscular as his back, and, by the way the fabric hung, he had the few top buttons of his uniform jacket undone, clearly defying school rules. Watanuki couldn't hear anything, but when mirror-Watanuki called out the other boy turned.

_DOUMEKI SHIZUKA!_

Could no form of himself ever be free of that jerk?! Stupid total ass-wait…Watanuki's eyes narrowed as he watched. His other self in the mirror didn't seem to be detested by Doumeki, and even smiled at him.

He felt as if his hands were suddenly burning when he watched in horror as the Watanuki before him was pulled possessively into his archrival's arms and kissed with obvious passion. And he was _ENJOYING_ it! NO, mirror-Watanuki was far more than enjoying it, as he had wrapped his arms around Doumeki and one hand slipped beneath the untucked shirt.

Somehow, Watanuki had the feeling that if a few other boys hadn't interrupted them, they would have had sex right there in the middle of the school grounds. Whatever it was that the boys said, he didn't know, but they gave Doumeki, and by extension mirror-Watanuki, great respect bordering on awe. Mirror-Watanuki frowned and pulled away from mirror-Doumeki, and by the other students going their separate ways, class had begun. As the not-real Watanuki turned to leave, the not-real Doumeki swatted him playfully on his behind.

Watanuki almost literally gagged at the scene. That couldn't have been more disgusting. Oh, it wasn't two boys having sex or being lovers that bothered him; he considered himself very open minded about the whole thing. No, it was this look-alike of himself kissing the look-alike of his archrival with obvious relish.

The mirror's glass rippled again, for at least a minute, before settling back to normal. Judging by the amount of students leaving, the day was over for school. Doumeki was standing by the gate, surrounded by other boys and even a girl or two, and was obviously waiting for someone. What, was Doumeki the leader of some huge gang? All those gathered around the archer seemed to have a tattoo on the backs of their hands, but he couldn't make out what it was.

When mirror-Watanuki showed up, some life sparked in mirror-Doumeki. And while he didn't seem to be all that different from the Doumeki the real Watanuki knew, there were far more emotions displayed. Watanuki of the mirror seemed to laugh as he was pulled into another intimate kiss and with an arm slung around his waist; the couple, surrounded by the "gang" of students, strode down the streets as if they owned them.

Mirror-Doumeki started talking and after a few minutes, the rest of the group separated, leaving the couple alone in the empty street. Watanuki said something and whatever it was, it set off a roguish, sexy smile from Doumeki even as the real Watanuki watched. And without warning, the mirror Watanuki was pressed up against the nearby wall lining the sidewalk, rather forcefully, but it didn't seem to injure his other self.

In fact, his other self seemed _excited!_ He was even panting in anticipation!

Mirror Doumeki smiled in an almost predatory fashion and dropped his bag to pin both of mirror Watanuki's wrists above the bespectacled boy's head, while the other plunged itself, without preamble, straight into his pants, disregarding the fact that at any moment, someone could come by and catch them. Mirror Watanuki seemed to cry out in delight, arching into that hand as it ravished him, while real Watanuki screamed, high pitched, in horror, and tossed the mirror away from him. He didn't care if it shattered on the ground, or if he had to take Yuuko's punishment!

He fled the back room of the shop, half running, half stomping angrily. Yuuko was responsible for this some how; he knew his boss, she was probably giggling madly somewhere right now over what she had done. Well, he wasn't going to put up with that.

Stripping off his apron and the bandana in his hair, he tossed them aside and went to the front of the shop, almost violently pulling on his shoes. "I'm leaving!" He shouted into the shop. "You can make your own dinner tonight!" With that he slammed the door and was gone.

Yuuko, coming out of one of the various back rooms, rubbed at her eyes sleepily. Taking a few moments to come into complete consciousness after her nap. Mokona bounced up on her shoulder, looking slightly confused, and, with a long-suffering sigh, she regarded the black creature with a serious expression. "He found something that showed him a world he wanted to see, but I'm not sure if he's ready yet."

"Oh." Mokona said, as if understanding perfectly. "So he won't be making us dinner tonight."

"No." Yuuko paused, then turned a smile on Mokona. "But he won't be telling us to stop drinking either."

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities 


	2. Chapter 2

Doumeki couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what was up with Watanuki. Every time the shorter boy even so much as glanced in his general direction, he looked either ready to burst in a run or burn up with blush on the spot. Why he inspired a blush on the boy's cheeks, he had little evidence to speculate on. And every time he happened to touch him, whether in passing or on purpose, Watanuki looked half frightened and half wanting of something more. And that left Doumeki in complete confusion.

Every time he tried to at least _talk_ to Watanuki, the boy's eyes flashed as if in some memory and he fidgeted until the archer just wanted to take a stapler and pin him to the ground so he'd _stop_. He was at such a loss, he contemplated even going to talk to Yuuko about whatever it was that was bothering him.

"OI, WATANUKI!"

It was the first time he'd raised his voice in years, but Watanuki was busy speed walking to get away from him. He burst into a run and managed to catch the bespectacled boy by the arm before he bolted. And surprisingly, he saw so many mixed emotions in Watanuki's eyes when their gazes locked that he let go of him. "What is the matter with you? You've been acting extremely strange for the past few days."

"I… it's nothing." The smaller boy stuttered, looking anywhere but at Doumeki.

There was absolutely no questioning the fact that something was seriously bothering Watanuki. His biggest clue being that, not only had Watanuki tried to run, but the first thing he said wasn't yelled or at least laced with enough aggravation to kill. It was extremely out of character. And, just looking into those cerulean eyes, he could tell that it was directly related to him; all of the being avoided just backing the fact up beyond irrefutable. "If it's nothing, then why are you acting so weird, idiot?"

"I'm _not_ acting weird!" It was more of a whine than a yell. Whatever it was eating at the smaller boy, it was bad if Watanuki couldn't even get worked up enough to yell.

Doumeki crossed his arms over his chest, making it clear that he expected more of an answer, he even raised his eyebrow in question, but it went unnoticed as Watanuki _still_ wasn't looking at him.

Watanuki opened his mouth to speak, closed it without a sound, and opened it again. Looking lost, and confused. Closing his mouth with an audible click of teeth, the bespectacled boy turned on his heel before Doumeki had time to so much as blink.

Watanuki didn't stop running until he was in the shop, the one place he knew he was safe from Doumeki. He peeled off his shoes and collapsed on the porch, gasping for breath. _Why can't I stop thinking about that damn mirror?_ Even in his own mind it sounded like a whine. He was falling apart, and all because of something he saw that never _really_ happened.

Breathing nearly back to normal, he opened his eyes, then screamed. Yuuko's face was hovering inches above his own, examining him like an insect. Scrambling a few feet away, he sat against the wall, one hand clutching the fabric of his shirt as if to keep his heart from bursting through his chest.

"Don't do that!" One day that woman was going to give him a heart attack.

"Run into a problem on the way here?" Yuuko asked casually, standing and adjusting her silk kimono around her unconsciously. "You seem a little out of breath."

"It was… just a spirit, that's all." He lied quickly, not wanting to tell his insane boss anything about what had happened. He knew if he did, she would pry until he told her everything, and he couldn't have that.

"But I thought you were with Doumeki?" A knowing grin spread across her face, sending shivers down Watanuki's spine.

"No, he wasn't there!" He shouted at her, picking himself up off the ground. "Don't just assume things!" He stormed past her into the shop, gathering up his cleaning things and donning them like battle armor.

Yuuko followed after him, at a much more relaxed pace. "Well since you seem to be fine, make me some dango. It will go perfectly with this sake I acquired today."

He turned to yell at her, eye's narrowed dangerously. "All you do is drown out the taste of the food I make with liquor! What's the point of even making anything?" Yuuko simply smiled at him. "GAH! FINE! I GET IT!" He stormed off into the kitchen.

Yuuko smiled down wolfishly at Moro, Maru, and Mokona next to her. "Well, he isn't completely distraught if he can still complain about things normally to me. Maybe he is taking this better than I thought." She laughed delightedly as she moved to find somewhere to lounge.

Even as he puttered around in the kitchen to make what Yuuko had wanted to eat for a snack, he found his thoughts straying to the mirror. He told himself that it was idle curiosity, nothing more, and it especially had nothing to do with the look on his mirror image's face when Doumeki had thrust his hand down into his pants in broad daylight and in the middle of the street.

Why the thing held such fascination for him, he didn't know, but lately his every waking thought was about the damn thing! He wanted to know more about their mirror selves…no! No, he didn't!

The tray in his hands felt heavy and he glanced at the door that led to the treasure room where the mirror was sitting. He would go see it tomorrow and get whatever it was in his system once and for all!

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities 


	3. Chapter 3

Yuuko was somewhere snacking away happily at the dango he had prepared for her, and more than likely drinking herself silly. It was the perfect opportunity for him to get a look at that mirror again, prove to himself that it wasn't real, and return his life to normal.

Normal was good; normal was him screaming at Doumeki for being an annoying jerk, and having to worry about spirits when he was alone, not getting groped and liking it, or never worrying about spirits because Doumeki was close enough to keep everything away for miles. Yes, Watanuki definitely wanted normal.

He slid the door to the back room open, shock registering for half a moment as he noted that everything was exactly where he had left it. Lucky for him, but weird. Apparently, the little cleaning he had gotten done the last time he ventured back here wasn't enough for things to decide to rearrange themselves and gain a new coat of dust.

He picked his way around various objects, working his way to the back of the room where he had thrown the mirror. Coughing slightly as he kicked up dust, his eyes scanned the floor until he spotted the mirror half under the edge of an old trunk.

He pulled out the glittering piece of silver, idly wiping away the dust it had picked up sliding over the floor, and once again rejoiced that he hadn't broken it. First stepping on it, and then throwing it, perhaps his luck was turning around in some aspects. Now if he could just sort out the rest of his life, where it really mattered.

Watanuki glanced around, making sure he was alone and there were no soulless girls, dimensional witches, or black pork buns anywhere near. Satisfied for the moment that he wasn't being watched, he turned back to the mirror. He waited, but it did nothing. Annoyed, he shook it a little, turned it upside down, and generally did all he could think of to do to make it show something. He was about to give up on ever making it work again when he held it up the light once more filtering in from the doorway.

The surface rippled and distorted until his reflection was replaced by the mirror images of himself and Doumeki. He got nothing like the time before and just at a glance, his cheeks were burning red, followed by his ears, and there was a suspicious tightness around his groin. It didn't help that there was _sound_ this time to with, as if it was some dreadful peepshow.

"Yeah, oh yeah." Mirror-Watanuki gasped, his voice rising higher and his hands gripping mirror-Doumeki's shoulders tight enough to leave half-moon marks behind. Doumeki continued to grind into his companion regardless of his cries, his own hands gripping the mattress beneath him so tightly the real Watanuki thought he'd rip it.

"Yeah, yeah…" A loud cry. "Yeah…SHIZUKA!"

"Kimi-chan!"

Watanuki cleared his throat as the "couple" in the mirror climaxed before his eyes and he didn't think he'd ever be a normal color again. In utter embarrassment and horror, he watched as mirror-Doumeki pulled his hand away from his mirror self's erection, but it was all too obvious that the archer's own was still resting intimately inside of the boy below him.

_One question. **Kimi-chan?!**_

The mirror was startlingly clear and detailed; so detailed that he could see the sweat on both their bodies as if he were actually there. It didn't help that there were no sheets over them as they had had sex on the futon of whatever apartment they were in, and Watanuki could see every inch of mirror-Doumeki's physique. Before he could stop it, the thought that he was incredibly well built, and attractive, went through his brain.

_GOD NO! I DID NOT JUST THINK THAT! I DID NOT JUST WONDER IF THE REAL DOUMEKI LOOKS LIKE THAT!_ Watanuki felt the desperate need to bang his head against a wall until he lost consciousness.

Mirror-Doumeki shifted to brace himself up on his elbows, looking down at mirror-Watanuki below him. He left sweet kisses on his other self's eyelashes, smelling his hair and running his hands through it in a gentle way. It was…strangely romantic, which was not something he would have ever attributed to any Doumeki in any way.

"You only stick around for the sex," mirror-Doumeki murmured as he nuzzled mirror-Watanuki's neck. When his other self laughed, Watanuki could only guess that the other Doumeki had been teasing.

"Of course. That, and the prestige of being The Exorcists' leader's consort."

Doumeki's head lifted and there was an expression the real Watanuki had never seen on the real Doumeki's face before, despite the fact he had never seen any expression on Doumeki's face before: stunning conviction and total warmth. "You know you're more than just a consort to me. You know I love you."

Watanuki felt his heart stop beating and he missed what his other self replied with. Frantically he stuck the mirror under a bunch of bolts of fabric, too filled with fear to think straight.

This time, he didn't bolt out of the room; he stumbled out. It felt like his head was stuffed with cotton, and the only clear thoughts coming through were replays of the images he had seen in the mirror.

He found Yuuko, sitting right where he had left her, finishing off the last of the dango, and most obviously drunk. He knew he should probably yell at her for the sake, it was expensive and he would only have to go pick up more later, but it seemed unimportant at the moment.

"What's this for?" Doumeki asked, taking the proffered bento. After the day before he wasn't expecting to see Watanuki, let alone receive food from him.

"It's lunch, even you should know that." Watanuki snapped, pointedly looking at not-Doumeki. He moved a little ways off before sitting down and pulling out his own bento.

Doumeki wasn't one to argue free food, though he couldn't think of any reason Watanuki owed him lunch. Opening the bento, he noted it was soumen, something Watanuki hadn't made in a while.

"Well?" Watanuki asked, irritated and half expectantly after Doumeki had eaten a few bites.

"Needs salt."

"YOU UNGREATFUL JERK! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I BOTHER!" Watanuki shouted at, what Doumeki guessed was, the top of his lungs.

Pulling his fingers out of his ears to continue eating, he smiled faintly, though the still ranting Watanuki missed it. It was good to see the idiot back to normal.

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities 


	4. Chapter 4

Doumeki still kept his eyes on Watanuki, even though Watanuki appeared to be normal again for the most part. But sometimes he would catch the boy staring off into space, and suddenly his ears and cheeks would flame red for a few seconds before stalking off to some place unknown.

It had to be because of something he was doing in the shop, he concluded, since he basically knew everything there was for Watanuki to do otherwise: go to school, go home, do housework and schoolwork, go to bed. That seemed to be his entire routine in life, so the only wild cards were Yuuko's shop. It was too bad he couldn't see or enter it. He would like to know what Watanuki saw on a daily basis.

"Oi."

Watanuki's head jerked up and Doumeki saw a flash of something go by on his face. The archer blinked in surprise. He had never seen Watanuki look so…lost before. Carefully, he knelt in front of the bespectacled boy and reached out to hesitantly touch his hand. They were alone, so he hoped that maybe, just maybe, he would open up to him a little.

However it appeared as if that was the wrong move because Watanuki's cheeks turned a brilliant shade of red and he jerked away as if he'd been stung. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

The action was so unexpected, the words so harsh, that inwardly he flinched. When had he ever given Watanuki the impression that he'd hurt him? All he'd ever done was try to help him, and he'd never raised his hand in anger anywhere near him. "What's the matter with you, acting like that? It's not like I'm going to hit you or anything."

"I know that!" Watanuki shouted, backing away to put some space between them. "You're just being weird."

Doumeki raised an eyebrow at that; he was being weird? Well maybe just a little, but it was nothing compared to how off Watanuki had been. It was a plus that the bespectacled boy was talking to him again, and lunches had all but returned too normal. Yet, it seemed he was the only one who noticed the odd change in behavior from Watanuki. Himawari didn't seem to notice the almost complete lack of fawning or that Watanuki's enthusiasm was more than just a little forced.

"I'm trying to live a _normal_ life here and you have to come along and do something weird! Ruin everything, why don't you?" Watanuki waved his hands around angrily.

"Trying to live a normal life? What happened all of a sudden to make it not normal?" Watanuki flinched and looked away, mumbling something. "What?"

"I SAID IT'S NOTHING, YOU BIG JERK!" Watanuki jumped to his feet, fist clenched at his sides, looking ready to have an aneurism with the shade of red his face had turned. "STOP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS!"

"Hi Doumeki kun! Watanuki kun!" A too cheerful voice came from Doumeki, effectively cutting off anything else Watanuki might have been about to say. "I knew I'd find you two together, you being best friends and all." She came even with him, smiling like the world was perfect and only going to get better.

Watanuki's half panicked glare disappeared in less than a heartbeat, replaced by a forced enthusiastic smile, visibly slipping when she mentioned them being friends. "No, Himawari-chan, it's not like that." He waved his hands around, in an over expressive dismissive way.

"I have to leave school early today, so can I borrow your notes tomorrow?" Each of them had a different afternoon class with her, so she would have to get information from split sources.

"Of course you can borrow my notes! Though I'm sure you won't have any trouble with the material anyway." Watanuki practically cooed. If it weren't for the fact that it was completely fake, Doumeki thought he might be sick. Still he couldn't help but roll his eyes.

Even in the short talk with Himawari, Doumeki caught several glances directed his way from the bespectacled boy and every time their eyes met, the other would glare and glance away. The glaring was normal and something he was used to, but Watanuki had this complex about seeming inferior to him, so the glancing away part was completely unfathomable.

He frowned a little to himself and made a note to talk to Yuuko. Watanuki's bizarre behavior was seriously concerning him and he needed to know what it was, especially if it was something he could help with.

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities 


	5. Chapter 5

"…"

"…."

"WOULD YOU STOP FOLLOWING ME?" Watanuki finally yelled, turning around to face Doumeki, finger pointing accusingly. Doumeki only shrugged and walked past him, fingers in ears.

"We're just going to the same place." Doumeki informed him, sounding like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why are you coming to my work? There is no need for you there! _Yuuko_ didn't ask you to come! You aren't going to do anything useful, like help me clean! SO GO AWAY!" Watanuki screamed, as he sped up his walking to catch up to Doumeki, who didn't have the decency to stop and be yelled at when Watanuki stopped.

"I need to talk to Yuuko about something." The archer stated simply, removing his fingers from his ears yet again.

"What is it this time? Wait, let me guess, you are going to talk to her about something that isn't ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS, AGAIN! That's the only reason you ever talk to her about anything; it's just when you want to interfere with _my_ life. Well, my life is _perfect_ the way it is, and I DON'T want it to change! AT ALL!" Watanuki flailed around exaggeratedly, yelling up at the sky and ranting on without seeming to pause for breath.

To Doumeki, it sounded like Watanuki was trying to convince himself of something with that last line. It was the second time he had mentioned keeping his life the same, or "normal". Doumeki filed the information away for later, it was obviously a key piece to this puzzle that was a more-jumpy-than-usual Watanuki.

As they rounded the last corner on the way to the shop, Doumeki spotted Yuuko standing on the sidewalk waiting for them, just in front of the rotting fence posts at the forefront of the empty field that Doumeki saw. She waved happily, her odd and elaborate clothes flapping in the wind. "Doumeki kun, what a surprise."

Inwardly, Doumeki rolled his eyes at that; she had known he was coming probably before he knew he was coming. Outwardly his face remained the same. "I need to talk to you."

"Oh, I'm sure you do. I'm just on my way to this wonderful little shop that sells the best sake, why don't you come with me?" She invited, completely missing the death glares Watanuki aimed her way, or, rather, ignoring the death glares. "Watanuki, you stay here and get started on dinner, I feel like barbequed shrimp tonight. It will go great with the sake I'm picking up."

"Drowning out my cooking with liquor _again_! I could cook dirt and you wouldn't know the difference, I bet you don't even know what barbeque tastes like any more!" Even with complaining, Watanuki turned on his heel to head for the grocery store. "I've got to go pick up the ingredients." He muttered just before stomping off.

"Be sure to make enough for Doumeki-kun! And make something delicious for dessert!" Yuuko called out after him, laughing as he paused momentarily, then continued marching off.

"It's good to see him in such a good mood today." Yuuko commented once Watanuki was out of earshot, laughing as she said it. She definitely knew what was going on here; there was no doubt about it. It was just a question of whether or not she would tell him. "Come one Doumeki-kun, this way, it's not far." She turned and started walking at a fast set pace.

Watanuki dropped the ingredients onto the countertop, his shoulders sagging for a moment. Before he caught himself, he found himself glancing in the direction of the treasure room. His fist clenched and he turned resolutely away to make Yuuko's dinner, though he really doubted that she'd be interested in it. She hardly ever was, since she only drank the taste away.

"And what does she have to talk to Doumeki about anyway?!" he griped as he cooked.

In the end, he almost burned the shrimp and had to retry, forcing his attention slowly on the task. He focused on the disciplines his father taught him when things were bothering him and all he wanted to do was cook. The world just sort of faded away until there was nothing left in his head except the way the recipe had to be cooked.

He breathed a sigh of relief when they turned out expertly and he smiled at his accomplishment with pride. If he weren't cursed with seeing spirits, he would rather like to have owned his own restaurant. Cooking was his one true passion in his life, because cooking couldn't argue back and the precision it took to make truly good food was not a feat that just everyone could achieve.

Though he set out a small portion of the shrimp for Maru and Moro, he didn't know if they actually needed to eat. Well, their bodies were real even if they didn't have souls. But if their bodies were created by magic, did they really need to eat food to stay alive?

His apron was draped across a chair and he grabbed it. Time for a little cleaning, hoping the act would keep the mellow, good mood he was in that had gripped him during the cooking process. But it didn't last all that long before he was irritated and upset again, thinking about that damn mirror.

Mokona was with Yuuko, no doubt, since he was as much a sake whore as the Dimensional Witch herself was, so the two girls catching him were all he really had to worry about. He listened quietly and picked out their cute little childish laughs outside and the sound of water. So they were playing in the sprinkler; that would keep them occupied for several hours, at least.

Watanuki cautiously pushed open the door to peer inside the treasure room and this time, he brought in a light with him instead of relying on what dissipated glow came in from the outside. And as usual, the mirror was exactly where he'd left it.

He stared at the smooth surface for a moment and slumped to the ground. Did he really want to see? Why did he keep coming back? Why was the image of his mirror self physically intimate with mirror-Doumeki refusing to leave him? Why could he not look at the real Doumeki the same anymore? It wasn't as if that Doumeki was real; it wasn't as if the real Doumeki Shizuka that he knew was that way.

With a sigh, he lifted the flashlight and shined the strong light down on the glass of the mirror. It rippled, stronger this time, and instead of just watching it, he felt some part of his consciousness sucked into it. Alarmed, he fought to breach it and come back to his body, but it was like trying to stop a squall with bare hands.

The street he saw in front of him was familiar, but a tad dirtier. And though he couldn't seem to affect his other self, he knew everything the other self knew. By rifling through the memories, he found out that mirror-Watanuki had been intimate with mirror-Doumeki for two years and that he had quite a few nicknames at school, though the most common one was "The Untouchable Prince."

Watanuki was so preoccupied with learning all the secrets of his other self that he wasn't at all prepared for what happened, and he supposed that when he reacted the same as his other self it proved that fundamentally, they were truly the same.

He grunted when they hit the wall, for Watanuki could only think of them as different people, and his sapphire eyes widened at the boy that had tossed them and pinned them. He was a handsome enough fellow, he supposed, but a scar ran down from his eye to the middle of his cheek, almost cutting his left eyebrow in half. The real Watanuki was too busy panicking to notice much else about him except that he wore black.

"So _you're_ the icy angel that snared Doumeki Shizuka. I'd heard you were good-looking, but rumors didn't do you justice."

From his other self's memory, he found out that the boy was the leader of a rival gang. Apparently mirror-Watanuki hadn't seen fit to find anymore out about them, judging them as inconsequential, since there was nothing more in his recollections for the real Watanuki to pick through.

"What do you want?" his other self sneered back, sounding far calmer than the real Watanuki would ever have been.

"You," the boy hissed and crushed their lips together.

For the first time, both Watanuki's agreed on something and that was: THEY DID NOT WANT THIS. And in the exact same moment, they did the exact same thing. Two hands lifted and shoved against stocky shoulders, a knee coming up to shove into a soft stomach, and while one body did it, it had the strength of two. The boy landed with a satisfactory crash onto the pavement.

Mirror-Watanuki wiped his lips very noticeably and spit to get rid of the taste of the other boy's tongue in his mouth. He could practically see the thunderclouds of rage as the leader picked himself up, but by then, they weren't alone.

"What do you think you're doing to Nii-sama!"

"Yeah, you bastard! Stay away from Watanuki-sama!"

"He's the boss' so hands off!"

The real Watanuki could finally appreciate right then the loyalty of the sudden seven to ten boys that had surrounded mirror-Watanuki and himself. He didn't think they could have pulled off another stunt like what they had done again if the leader took it into his head to go the route of violence.

"Like you can keep him from me! I'll get him eventually."

Those brown eyes burned with conviction and suddenly the real Watanuki _knew_ that he would never stop trying. And shockingly, he felt true anger boil inside of his other self and the ringing tone of his yells was as familiar as his own.

"Damnit, you think you can just take me like I'm some ornament! Well, I'm not, you asshole!"

"Come with me, Watanuki, and you'll be even more powerful."

Mirror-Watanuki stilled and the real one inside of him that he wasn't even aware of was too riveted by what was happening to think. "So you think I stay with him because of my position?" His other self's voice was deadly quiet.

"Why else stay with that thick-headed, overbearing--"

"SHUT UP! I stay with Shizuka because I LOVE HIM!"

The mirror fell from Watanuki's fingers to land in darkness, face down, in the treasure room as he was thrust back into his body. He didn't even want to stay to find out what happened next. In fact, he felt completely numb. It hadn't just been for sex. His other self _loved_ Doumeki right back.

"Oh god…" he muttered and hung his head between his legs. So much for his life returning to normal.

"So," Doumeki stood with Yuuko outside the empty field that was a shop he couldn't see. "You won't tell me anything."

"There is nothing to tell. It will all work itself out soon, this is just helping along certain aspects of hitsuzen." Yuuko replied smiling that knowing smile of hers. "Let me get Watanuki and the food and we'll head to the park and have a nice little dinner, you go on ahead."

The archer considered trying one more time to get even a tiny scrap of information out of Watanuki's strange boss, but he knew it was wasted effort. He nodded and turned towards the park.

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities 


	6. Chapter 6

It took almost two hours for Watanuki to recover from what he had seen, and dinner in the park, which he was unhappily wrapped into, was mostly normal. He found he could look at Doumeki almost naturally, except now he found that he studied his profile far more than he liked to admit. And whenever their eyes would meet, a faint blush touched his cheeks and he turned away without saying anything.

School was hardly any different, except that now instead of looking lost, Watanuki was preoccupied. The words of his other self in the mirror haunted him like the spirits did and all he could truly think about was going back to the treasure room and looking _again_. It was like an addiction, for some reason. He had to know, and had to know what it also had to do with his real life here.

And yet, he couldn't bring himself to ask Yuuko what the mirror was. It would be admitting that he was shirking his chores at her house, shirking even his homework, to sneak into her treasure room to stare into its surface. No, he could only imagine the work hours that would be tacked on because of it.

They sat there eating in relative silence, he had started preparing lunch for Doumeki regularly and eating with him again shortly after his last look into the mirror. He sat there, so caught up in his musing that he had frozen, forgetting to eat.

"Oi."

"…"

"Hey."

Watanuki came back to reality, turning a glare on Doumeki. "I told you my name is _not_ "Hey"!" He yelled at the interruption.

Ignoring him, as usual, Doumeki continued on. "I was saying that your hair is longer. Didn't you get it cut recently?"

Watanuki felt his face heating, and he covered it by turning to his bento and quickly shoved food down his throat. Once he was sure that his face was a decent color again, he glared up at the archer. "So what if it is! Is there something wrong with it?"

Doumeki just shrugged, returning to his own bento.

"YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!" Watanuki screamed.

Watanuki stared into the mirror of his bathroom, brushing his hair out of his eyes. It really was longer, over an inch longer than when he had gotten it trimmed just a few days ago.

It fell right back into his eyes, and he brushed it aside again, only for it to repeat. "Gah! This is so stupid!" Now he was going to have to spend money he didn't have to get it cut again.

Briefly the image of himself in the mirror world flashed into his mind, with his hair pulled back into a long braid, Doumeki running his hands through his hair as they lay together, and felt a fierce blush rise in his cheeks.

That was all just some sick joke in a mirror; a mirror obviously designed to mess with your mind. He was going to go get his hair cut right after work tomorrow. No amount of weird mirror world, messed up, romantic, weird stuff was going to change who he was. Sure, he wanted to be able to walk with the same confidence and attract the same respect as his mirror version, but he didn't want to _be_ him. No, not that.

_Lips touched his own, gentle but full of passion. Hands ran down his back to slide up under his shirt. Gently he was pressed into the futon and soft movements slowly began to rub hips against hips. He wanted to cry; it was too slow! Sapphire eyes met golden ones in a haze of lust and feeling…_

Watanuki screamed as he woke up and threw a pillow where his archrival's face had been. He was startled to find out that he was alone, in his own room, by himself. Instinctively, he just knew that the Doumeki in his dream was not the Doumeki he saw in the mirror, which meant that he was dreaming about the _real_ Doumeki.

"Oh god…" he muttered, his voice full of frustrated tears. That mirror was even affecting his dreams now! He dropped his head in his hands and wanted to cry. Damn it, he was going to get his hair cut and he was never going near that mirror _ever again_.

"I'm going to kill her!" Watanuki growled under his breath. It was Saturday night by this point, after school he had gone to work, anticipating the entire time getting off and going to get his hair cut. And what did Yuuko have to do? She had to go and ruin it for him, that's what.

She had worked him late, so late that she told him he was staying the night in the shop, sleeping on a spare futon in the back. If he complained about it, Yuuko she would attribute it to hitsuzen, always hitsuzen. She would tell him that he was destined to not get his hair cut today, that it was fated.

If he didn't know from working for her for so long that hitsuzen wasn't something to be messed with he would dismiss it out of hand and blame it entirely on his boss. As it was, he wasn't sure that he didn't.

Sometimes Watanuki hated hitsuzen.

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities 


	7. Chapter 7

Yuuko suddenly had him working like a dog. Sure, normally she had him working his butt off, but this was ridiculous, like she was purposefully keeping him from getting his hair cut. Having it constantly hanging in his eyes, a reminder of the mirror world, was driving him insane.

He was trying desperately to force his life back to normal. Though, he was starting to realize, not for his original reasons. He wasn't sure why he wanted things to be normal now, all his previous arguments seeming weak and false to him, he just knew it's what he should want. Logic was failing him.

Not since that first time Doumeki had mentioned his hair had the archer brought it up again, but it wasn't like he needed him to.

"Oh wow Watanuki-kun, I didn't know you were growing your hair out! It looks great." Himawari exclaimed as she took her seat in the grass next to him. "And it's growing so fast! I wish my hair grew like that!"

He muttered his thanks, his cheeks warming slightly. Unconsciously he glanced at Doumeki, before forcing his gaze back to his bento. Well, at least Himawari liked it, that was a plus, and a definite difference from the mirror world.

Thinking about it, he hadn't even seen Himawari in that world. Did they not go to the same school there, or were they not on speaking terms? For some reason, the thought wasn't as depressing as he knew it should have been.

Maybe it was because he had been wondering about Himawari in the mirror world that now, when he had snuck back into the treasure room again, he saw her in the mirror. He had said over and over again that he wouldn't go back, but it was like he was unable to control his own body. His eyes widened as he saw Himawari in the mirror, the light of the flashlight as strong as before to pull his consciousness into his other self. And like before, he could influence nothing, but merely watch from a front row seat.

She was as beautiful as she was in the real world. Her hair was lusciously black and thickly rich as usual, her smile so pretty but somehow shy right then. Girlish eyes, surrounded by thick lashes, stared at him and she even fidgeted a bit. She was so adorable that he was tempted to coo at her, but the body that he was in was not his own. 

"Ah, Kunogi-chan! How are you?"

"I'm fine, Watanuki-san. I'm so glad we could talk. You always seem so busy."

"Busy?"

She glanced over his shoulder and Watanuki's other self turned his attention to the gaggle of girls in the background that were just ready to swoop down on him and fawn over him. This, he learned from his counterpart's mind, was a regular occurrence and he paid it no heed generally.

As their talk, which held nothing of true importance or substance, continued, real Watanuki realized something. He wasn't naïve and could tell instantly that Himawari was _smitten_ with him! At one point, it would have made his heart soar and he would have gladly traded places with his other self in an instant. And mirror-Watanuki was completely oblivious to her feelings.

But in truth, he wasn't skipping for joy. In fact, he held a complete lack of interest and even sadness. This wasn't real and if it wasn't real, then neither were Himawari's feelings real. And though part of him wanted to rejoice, the other part couldn't really care. It wasn't like it would ever happen in the real world and lately, he was hard pressed to even think about Himawari in the real world.

Their conversation ended and they parted ways, but real Watanuki still found himself stuck in his counterpart's body. An arm draped itself around his slim waist and real Watanuki could feel the warmth from it. If he was in his mirror self's body when Doumeki and he, as it was little doubt it _was_ Doumeki by his counterpart's flash of pleasure inwardly, were intimate, would he feel it too? What would it feel like to be in his counterpart's body as they had sex?

For some reason, he was neither not interested _or_ interested. The Doumeki in the mirror wasn't his Doumeki. Wait…since when was Doumeki his to begin with?! _Damn it, Watanuki, you are an idiot! Stop thinking like that about your archrival!_

Mirror-Watanuki cocked his head, as if real Watanuki's overwhelmingly loud thought had managed to push through whatever barrier that held them apart. With a faint frown, real Watanuki found himself pushed head over heels back into his own body. He coughed and picked himself up off the ground, looking at the dark and stationary mirror skeptically.

_Well, **that** was new._

Doumeki found himself watching Watanuki more and more, mostly because the strangeness in the other boy seemed to be back. It was different this time, but still there.

Watanuki was one to work hard in his studies, taking notes in class, paying attention to ever word the teacher said as to not miss a thing. He knew the situation the smaller boy lived with, and if Watanuki's grades slipped so did the amount of money he received each month.

Watanuki was currently staring out the window, while simultaneously fidgeting with his pencil, though clearly on anything but math lesson. He hadn't been turning in his homework as much either. Watanuki hadn't stopped all together, but for some classes, he just didn't have it, or only had it partially finished and seemed surprised to find it that way.

It was time for another talk with Yuuko.

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities 


	8. Chapter 8

He was like a man possessed. If it weren't for Yuuko constantly reminding him to make her dinner, and by extension himself, he would have starved by now. Dust was gathering around other neglected areas of the house, and in his own apartment, it wasn't as neat and tidy as usual. Random books were scattered around; the futon was rarely put away; remnants of dishes remained in the sink.

Whispers began to follow him as the suddenly straight-A student, perfect and neatly pressed, was beginning to look at little scruffy. The teachers reminded him to get a haircut because it was getting too long for school. They wanted their homework turned in. Projects went unheeded. Oftentimes in class, he merely stared out the window with a glazed look in his eyes.

It didn't matter.

Watanuki stared at the mirror in his hands and the flashlight shook a little as he lifted it higher to shine it on the glass. It didn't matter what he saw or that he might end up in his counterpart's body in the height of sex. All that mattered was being with the mirror. Part of his mind knew that he was wrong and that he had to pull away soon. That he had to stop.

But he was completely out of control, of his own or anyone else's.

"I'm willing to pay whatever price you ask." Doumeki told Yuuko before she had the chance to tell him no again. Not that she had ever told him no straight out, she just had her own roundabout way of getting out of telling you what you wanted to hear.

"It isn't a matter of price." Surprising words considering they came from a woman who charged for everything. "Just telling you will extract a price in and of itself."

Doumeki nodded, he knew that. You couldn't learn anything without paying a price for it, because once you learned something it couldn't be unlearned and effected your every thought from that point on.

"You aren't going to let this drop, so I will tell you." Yuuko stared into her sake, not drinking. "He's found a mirror in one of the store rooms."

"A mirror?"

"It's a powerful object, a dangerous object, I received in payment years ago," she explained. "One that would have been better for him to not find, but once he did, there was no longer anything I can do about it." She paused, swirling her sake in her cup, as if searching for the right words. "It's almost like an addiction, you could say, once you've looked into it you can't stop. Countless people have wasted away because of it. It casts a spell on you, showing you your greatest desire, the one you hold deep in your heart that you may not even know you carry. The mirror takes your wish and puts it in real life. It could take this park for instance, to make it seem realistic, and then add in what you truly, deeply wish for. It's a mix of fiction and reality; what is seen in the mirror is as real as the magic and the wish can make it. As real as you or I, but not always achievable. It's when the wish is not possible that souls are lost. Watanuki will keep going back until he grants the wish in his heart. Only then will the mirror no longer have any sway over him."

They sat in silence for a while. Yuuko now taking a long draw from her sake dish.

"Is there anything I can do?" Doumeki asked after some time.

"Yes, and no. What happens is up to Watanuki."

"So his wish is possible?" Doumeki pressed.

"Yes but it's up to him." She smiled almost regretfully up at Doumeki, and odd look to see on the witch's face, but Doumeki knew she looked at Watanuki almost like a mother looked at a son. A very strange mother admittedly.

"Thank you." Doumeki stood to leave, setting down his own sake dish.

"You aren't going to ask what his wish is?" Yuuko seemed half amused by this.

He shook his head, not turning to face her again. "It's not important, only that it gets granted."

He missed the smirk that spread across the Dimensional Witch's lips as she finished off her own sake. "Yes, that's all that really matters."

Watanuki's eyes were dull and the circles under them more pronounced than usual. Doumeki stared at him, but the bespectacled boy didn't even so much as glance at him. The night before, Yuuko had sent them out on a job and Watanuki hadn't shown up. He hadn't even shown up at school the next day. The teacher said that he was sick, but Doumeki didn't think so.

Yet there was little he could do. He had knocked repeatedly on the door, but there had been no answer. He was back at school again and normally, he would not have worried, but frankly, the taste of his lunch was horrific. He hadn't thought it was possible for Watanuki to make bad food, but apparently it was.

And he was getting skinnier. There was a distinct lack of interest in life as well and Doumeki's heart was beginning to break. He'd never truly encountered a problem that he couldn't help Watanuki out with. Even with his eye, in the end, he had given up half his sight and helped the boy out. But how could he help with a wish that he had no idea what it was?

If only Watanuki would confide in him! But Watanuki confided in no one and even oblivious, dim-witted Himawari was finally noticing the boy's behavior. She prodded him about his food and classes and though he actually responded to her, he never even so much as got excited at her presence anymore.

Enough was enough!

Regardless of the fact that he had left his club practice right in the middle of it, he knew that if he didn't say something _now_, all would be lost. He had never thought of himself as having predictive feelings, but he just knew that this was his only chance to get through to the boy.

Even when Watanuki struggled against Doumeki's hold as he gripped the thin arms, feeling more bony than usual, and life sparked in his eyes briefly, the archer was not about to let go.

"Let me go, Doumeki!"

But his words lacked a distinct venom and irritation. He shook him ever so slightly. "Damn it, Watanuki, wake the hell up and see what's happening to you!" Doumeki paused and frantically tried to reel in his emotions. He bit his tongue hard and slowly forced his face and tone back to the immobile mask he used as his true defense, especially at times like these.

"JUST LET ME GO!"

"Not on your life," he hissed quietly. "Yuuko told me about that damn mirror. Do you even know what's it doing to you? Do you have any idea what it is? Well, I'll tell you." Watanuki opened his mouth to interrupt, but Doumeki overrode his voice instantly. "That thing has got a hold on you and it will keep making you go back to it until you grant what wish you see!"

"W-wish? What wish?"

"What you see in that mirror is what your _wish_ is. The wish you may not even know you have. It's what you want, Watanuki. And you'll never be free of that mirror until you find the source of your wish and make it happen. Ignore all the superfluous stuff. Just get the heart of the problem and make that wish happen!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"No, I won't."

Watanuki's eyes glared at him in frustration. "Why?! WHY CAN'T I EVER ESCAPE YOU?!"

"Because I don't want you to disappear."

For some reason, the words terrified Watanuki. His sapphire eyes went wide behind his glasses and with a strength that shocked Doumeki, he tore away from the archer and ran with all speed…away. Doumeki didn't even care to speculate on where he was going. Probably back to that damn mirror.

He just hoped that he'd managed to help Watanuki somehow.

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities 


	9. Chapter 9

Watanuki sat, knees to chest, on his futon. The alarm clock blinked and showed 2:34 a.m. He wanted to look into the mirror, _needed_ to. The thought of that need brought up flashes of earlier in the day into his mind.

_"Not on your life," he hissed quietly. "Yuuko told me about that damn mirror. Do you even know what's it doing to you? Do you have any idea what it is? Well, I'll tell you." Watanuki opened his mouth to interrupt, but Doumeki overrode his voice instantly. "That thing has got a hold on you and it will keep making you go back to it until you grant what wish you see!"_

"W-wish? What wish?"

"What you see in that mirror is what your wish is. The wish you may not even know you have. It's what you want, Watanuki. And you'll never be free of that mirror until you find the source of your wish and make it happen. Ignore all the superfluous stuff. Just get the heart of the problem and make that wish happen!"

They lingered for a moment, mingling with his other thoughts of the mirror. So what if it was making him go back? He didn't care; if he didn't want to go back he wouldn't, it was as simple as that.

_ It's what you want, Watanuki._

Maybe what he was seeing _was_ what he wanted. He didn't know anymore, and he didn't care. At least, he didn't think he cared.

The clock flashed 2:35.

He didn't go to school that day. Instead, he snuck into Yuuko's house. Despite all his assurances that he could "quit" if he wanted, here he was, back in the storeroom again. Frantically, he dug around searching for the mirror. Had Yuuko moved it? Had she taken it? He _needed_ it, like it was a drug and he was suffering terrible withdrawal symptoms.

Watanuki only found it by crawling between two huge chests to a very small alcove in the back of the room. He set it on his knees and dug out his small flashlight he had learned to keep in his pocket at all times. There was no light to be seen in the small area, so there was little choice but to use it.

The glass rippled and there they were again.

He could feel the hands running down his chest, the lips on his neck. Real Watanuki focused his consciousness to take in details, other than just _feeling_. His other self was sitting in Doumeki's lap, or rather, straddling him backwards. Doumeki, both real and imaginary, were so tall that their heads were completely even right then. To his amazement, both were still fully dressed.

Mirror-Doumeki's hands never ceased their roving, but it wasn't filled with lust. It was gentle and soft, loving and yet seductive, but never once gave the hint of impending intimacy. They were whispering sweet things or teasing each other lowly, but none of what they said really mattered to him.

Because he had found the heart of the problem.

Mirror-Watanuki was filled with contentment, as if he wanted nothing more out of life than to be with Doumeki. He was sure and positive in both of their feelings, and at peace with the world, even if he could still see spirits. They were both very much in lust with each other, yes, but it wasn't always like that. There were a goodly amount of moments like this where they would just lay down, naked or not, or sit together and just…talk. It didn't even have to be romantic or coo sweet nothings in lover's ears. They were close friends and companions before being physical lovers.

And the longing in his own heart for just such a thing almost swallowed his other self whole. He must have felt it, for his counterpart suddenly got even more emotional and it truly did become something of a romantic interlude with loving whispers exchanged.

Real Watanuki felt like crying. This is what he had wanted. The deep desire in his heart that he didn't even know he had had; that the mirror was showing him. Doumeki had always been there for him, the way Himawari hadn't. That wasn't to say she wasn't a bad girl, but she couldn't truly understand and be there the way Doumeki could. He would even miss the way that stoic face turned to him and stared at him, were he gone.

_I want this, I want this! This is what I want!_

He wanted to be free to run to Doumeki if he was upset. He wanted to be able to let his guard down and feel the sort of loving comfort mirror-Doumeki lavished on his counterpart. He wanted, above all any physical attraction, to know what it felt like for those golden eyes to only light up for him, the way that mirror-Doumeki's did for his other self.

Real Watanuki pulled away with little effort and crawled from the storeroom. He didn't even register Yuuko as she waited for him by the front door, taking in his dust covered clothes and the steel like expression on his face.

"Have you made your decision then?"

"Yes."

And then the door was closed behind him and he was sprinting with all haste toward the school and where he knew that archer would be.

Doumeki happened to glance outside the window at just the right time to see Watanuki bolting across the schoolyard in a stumbling run. Even from here he could tell that a spirit chasing the younger boy did not cause this.

He didn't know what made him get up from his desk, and leave the classroom. He didn't even hear the teacher calling after him. It didn't mater if he skipped class; it wasn't going to hurt him so much that he would regret it later.

Doumeki ran out into the schoolyard, across the grass stopping before Watanuki, but Watanuki didn't stop. The bespectacled boy ran right into him, nearly collapsing to the ground, he would have if Doumeki hadn't grabbed hold of him. Was Watanuki crying?

Slowly he lowered them to the ground, Watanuki trying to catch his breath. Those were tear tracks on the dust-covered boy's face, but he wasn't crying now. He seemed determined, if a little winded.

Watanuki was pale, and drawn. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping at all, his hair was a shaggy mess, and his uniform was in disarray. The mirror was killing him, killing him right before Doumeki's eyes, and he didn't know what to do about it.

It was a good sign, however, that Watanuki was here and not looking into that mirror again. Though, judging by the dust, that's exactly where he had been before now.

"I… I know… I know what I want now." Watanuki told him in halting speech. "I know."

"What's that?" Doumeki asked cautiously.

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities. We also don't own xxxholic.


	10. Chapter 10

Doumeki blinked down at Watanuki in surprise, unsure of what to say, so he remained quiet. Part of him wondered if he said anything that it would deter Watanuki and make him remember what the bespectacled boy considered him as.

"In the mirror, I saw it." The way Watanuki was speaking was odd, like he was confused and didn't know how to say what he wanted, but he continued on in his halting speech. "Friendship, and trust; I want someone to call me by my first name. So many little things, and I only had to reach out for them. They were here the whole time." He was still gasping for breath from his run, considerably weakened from the mirrors spell.

The archer tilted his head and shifted so he was a tad more comfortable in his awkward, kneeling position. So what exactly was Watanuki saying here? He pursed his lips and finally asked, "So what--"

"I want you!"

The surrounding silence was palatable and it was only after a few seconds that Watanuki realized just how it sounded. Red stained his cheeks, but he lifted his chin resolutely in a courage that he had scrounged up somewhere inside of him. "I meant…not just physically. I want to see your smiles when you look at me. I want you to be there for me." He cleared his throat a little awkwardly, seeing the stoic face and nothing more.

"I've never felt safe in my life and the only times I do are when I'm in Yuuko's shop…or with you. No spirits can enter through the warding on Yuuko's house, but it's when I'm around you that I feel the safest. I've never felt that around any other person before. And I wanted you to know that, because I want more than to just feel safe."

Watanuki bit his lip a little. Thank god that the windows to the school weren't facing in this direction, or he knew that they'd have had an audience of thousands and that would have shattered what little, and in short supply, courage he'd managed to wring out of himself to admit it all to Doumeki.

He refused to break eye contact; to look away discreetly with his blush like he'd always imagined Himawari doing. Finally, Doumeki moved a millimeter and a hand reached up to hold his chin gently. The stoic face became serious and his eyes suddenly so much deeper, leaving Watanuki to quake inside.

"All this, what you told me…that's the wish you saw in the mirror?"

Well, he had seen a great deal more than that, but in essence, it was the same. He nodded and watched as Doumeki thought some more in silence. Something was doing cartwheels in his stomach and having a gay old time tying it in knots with apprehension.

"Then it's something I can help with."

"I guess--"

His words became muffled when Doumeki's mouth touched his. It wasn't exactly Kiss of the Year. In fact, it was kinda clumsy, which was surprising since he would have expected Doumeki to have a lot of experience in that department. It was little more than a chaste touching of lips, but it sent shivers down his spine.

"I'll help you, then."

Watanuki blinked and focused on the world again as it expanded from solely thinking about those wonderful lips. He smiled, for the first time in what felt like forever. It wasn't one of those fawning ones he used to throw Himawari's way, nor was it one of the confident ones his mirror self had used. It was best described as almost shy.

Doumeki pulled both of them to their feet, Watanuki stumbling as dizziness swept over him, only Doumeki's hold keeping him from going straight back down. He felt weak, and he noticed the horrid state he was in. He wondered how he had gotten like this, but his memory since first finding the mirror was fuzzy and at best, in pieces. The only clear parts being what he had seen in that mirror. And he realized, that thinking about it didn't bring the desire to look into it; it felt strange.

"Come on." Doumeki said, wrapping an arm around the too thin boy's waist. Watanuki blinked in confusion. "Let's get you home, you look terrible."

Watanuki narrowed his eyes at the archer. "I do not!" He paused, cheeks turning faintly pink. "Besides, my apartment is a mess right now."

"We can clean it up, after we clean you up. When was the last time you ate?" Doumeki wasn't surprised that Watanuki's home chores had been tossed aside with everything else; in fact, he would be surprised if they hadn't.

Watanuki opened his mouth to yell at Doumeki, but then paused, considering his question. "I don't know…" He trailed off, trying to remember the last few days, hours, clearly, but it was like trying to catch dust moats.

"That's what I thought." Doumeki turned, pointing them to the front gate, and ultimately Watanuki's apartment.

"I can walk fine on my own, jerk." Watanuki tried to push away, but he didn't have the strength to break even Doumeki's considerably loose hold on him. "Or this is fine."

"My name is Shizuka."

Watanuki looked away, his hair falling over his face. "I know."

"Then call me by it, Kimihiro."

"Will I ever forget what I saw?" Watanuki asked, almost a month later, leaning on the broom he had been sweeping with. He had a lot of housework to catch up on, and Yuuko took pleasure in reminding him of it when she got the chance.

"Like all memories, it will fade with time; as you forget, though, try to keep in mind what you learned from it, if nothing else. That mirror showed you what not only what you wanted to see, perhaps, but what you _needed_ to see." Yuuko answered, for once, serious; even if she never looked away from the cake she was studiously devouring. "Forgetting is up to you."

Watanuki only nodded, taking into account her words, as he went back to his sweeping. Yuuko might be an insane, over-indulging, drunk, but she was smart when it came to things that really mattered.

"By the way, how are things with you and Doumeki-kun? You seem to be spending a lot more time together recently." He didn't need to look up to see the grin spread across the witch's face, he could _hear_ it.

"Things are just fine." He turned to face the other direction, sweeping a little more furiously than he had been only moments before.

"Oh, Watanuki, you aren't getting sick are you? You look flushed!"

"Just shut up." Yuuko's laughter rang throughout the shop.

I created this story with a friend of mine, Orochimaruhan on the xxxholic and the doumekiwatanuki livejournal communities. We also don't own xxxholic. 


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